How to spot fake profiles and romance scams over 60

Here's the most important line on this page, so we'll say it first: never send money to someone you have met only online, no matter how genuine they seem or how urgent their story. Almost every romance scam ends at that single request, and refusing it keeps you safe from the vast majority of them. Everything else here helps you spot trouble earlier, so it never gets that far.

Romance fraud is a real and growing problem, and scammers deliberately target people over 60, often those who are widowed or recently on their own. That isn't a reason to be fearful or to avoid dating. It's a reason to know the handful of warning signs, which are easier to recognise than you might think once you've seen them laid out.

How to tell if a profile is fake

Fake profiles tend to share a family resemblance. Any one of these on its own might be innocent, but two or three together is a reason to be cautious.

• The photos look too polished. Model-perfect or professional-looking pictures, often just one or two, are worth a second thought. You can search a photo online to see if it appears elsewhere under a different name.
• The story is glamorous but hard to pin down. Scammers often claim to be working abroad, serving in the military overseas, or on an oil rig or ship. It sounds impressive and conveniently explains why they can never meet.
• The profile is thin. Vague details, few photos, and answers that could apply to anyone are all common. Genuine people tend to mention specific, ordinary things.
• The English is oddly formal or inconsistent. Stilted phrasing, or a writing style that changes between messages, can be a sign you're talking to more than one person.

The tactics scammers use

Fake profiles are only the start. What follows tends to run to a script, and knowing the script robs it of its power.

• They move fast emotionally. Declarations of love within days, calling you "soulmate" very early, and a rush of intense affection are classic signs. It's designed to sweep you along before you've had time to think.
• They avoid meeting or video calling. There's always a reason: a bad connection, a broken camera, a posting overseas. A genuine person will happily show their face on a video call before long.
• They move you off the site quickly. An early push to switch to text, email or a messaging app takes you away from a place with safety checks and reporting.
• Then comes the money. A sudden crisis, a stuck payment, a medical bill, a customs fee, a wonderful investment. It may start small. The request for money is the whole point of the exercise, however long it takes to arrive.

The rules that keep you safe

You don't need to be an expert or suspicious of everyone. These few habits protect you from almost everything.

• Never send money, gift cards or bank details to someone you haven't met in person. There is no exception to this one.
• Stay on the dating site to chat at first, rather than moving to private messaging straight away.
• Ask for a video call before feelings run deep. Anyone genuine will be glad to.
• Be cautious of anyone who declares strong feelings unusually fast, or who always has a reason they can't meet.
• Talk to a friend or family member about anyone you're getting close to online. Scammers rely on keeping you isolated, and a second opinion breaks the spell.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it very often is, and you never owe anyone an explanation for stepping back.

What to do if you're worried

If you suspect a profile is fake, report it to the site so their team can look into it and protect others. On 60 Singles you can report anyone in a couple of taps, and a real person reviews it. If you think you've been scammed, or have sent money, tell your bank straight away and report it to the relevant authorities in your country. There's no shame in it whatsoever. These criminals are practised and convincing, and reporting helps stop them reaching someone else.

None of this should put you off. Millions of people over 60 date online safely and happily. A little knowledge simply means you can relax and enjoy it, knowing you'd spot trouble long before it mattered. If you're just getting started, our friendly guide to online dating over 60 walks you through the rest, and you can read how we handle safety on our safety page.