Finding companionship again later in life

If you're reading this, some part of you has already decided you'd like more company in your life. That's worth saying plainly, because a lot of people over 60 talk themselves out of it before they begin. There's no age at which the wish for companionship stops being reasonable, and no rule that says you've had your share. Wanting someone to share the ordinary days with is simply human, at 65 as much as at 25.

Companionship later in life comes in many shapes, and it helps to remember that meeting a great romance is only one of them. Sometimes what makes the difference is a good friend to walk with, someone to travel alongside, a person to ring on a Sunday, or simply more faces in your week. All of it counts, and any of it can grow into more.

When you live alone

Living alone suits some people and weighs on others, and it can be both on different days. If the quiet has started to feel less like peace and more like isolation, that's not a weakness or a failing. It's a signal worth listening to. A great many people over 60 live on their own, through widowhood, divorce or simply how life worked out, and a great many of them are quietly hoping to change it.

The good news is that the loneliest part is often the deciding, not the doing. Once you take a small step outward, the rest tends to follow more easily than you'd expect.

Easing back into company

You don't have to leap. Companionship usually rebuilds in small, unremarkable steps, and there's no prize for rushing.

• Start with something you already enjoy. A walking group, a class, a choir or a volunteering morning puts you among people with no pressure to be anything other than yourself.
• Say yes a little more often. The invitations you've been declining are worth another look, even when staying in feels easier.
• Let friendship and romance both be welcome. Some of the best later-life relationships began as an easy friendship with no expectations at all.
• Be patient with yourself. If you're recently widowed or divorced, some days will be harder than others, and that's exactly as it should be.

Where dating fits in

Meeting people online is one of the easier ways to widen your circle later in life, precisely because everyone there has chosen to be open to it. That takes away the guesswork of wondering whether someone is single or interested. A site built for the over 60s, like ours, means the people you meet are at a similar stage, and our chat and interest groups are designed for exactly this: easy company around a shared interest, with romance free to grow from it or not.

If the idea appeals but the how of it feels daunting, our plain-language guide to online dating over 60 takes you through every step. And if you'd simply like to see who's about, our page on meeting single people over 60 explains how the community works.

A last gentle word

Reaching out again after time alone takes a little courage, and it's worth acknowledging that rather than pretending it's nothing. But the people you'd be reaching out to are hoping for the very same thing, often just as nervously. Companionship later in life isn't a consolation prize or a second best. For a great many people it turns out to be one of the happiest chapters, precisely because they know by now what they value and who they are.